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John & Becky's Movie Review of "Van Helsing"  Becky and I saw "Van Helsing" on Friday night. The "Van Helsing" website at http://www.vanhelsing.net/ has a really cool website, including information on the upcoming NBC pilot called "Transylvania" that's based on this movie. The Fandango website describes the story as follows: http://www.fandango.com/movie_page.asp?mv=83401&aff=&source=fr1_t

The Story
It is the late 19th century. Famous monster hunter Gabriel Van Helsing (Hugh Jackman) has come to Eastern Europe with capable heroine Anna Valerious (Kate Beckinsale) at his side. The showdown is near, between Van Helsing and the world's most evil forces, including Count Dracula, the Wolf Man and Frankenstein's Monster.
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The Review
I have to tell you that I was really excited about seeing this movie. I like sci-fi, spooky, action packed blockbuster films and from the previews I was expecting it to be like Indian Jones meets Dracula. The movie didn't live up to the hype or even the previews. Becky didn't want to see it to begin with since she is not a fan of science fiction type movies and in this case she was right. I had to wake her up a couple times she was so bored with this flick.

The guy who wrote and directed this is Stephen Sommers and he's the same guy who did that cheeseball film "The Mummy" with the same amount of incredible special effects and off-the-wall action. If you liked that movie than you should like "Van Helsing" as well. So, what was the problem with this film?

As I already mentioned, the special effects in this film were awesome, the characters played by Kate Beckinsale and Hugh Jackman were interesting and easy on the eyes. It started out pretty cool with Van Helsing chasing down a monstrous Mr. Hyde of Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde fame and battling him to the death. Next we are taken to Rome and a secret place in the Vatican where we are introduced to Van Helsing's new mission. He must go to Transylvania, protect a family that is bound for an eternity in Purgatory unless they can defeat Count Dracula. You've been launched from thrilling action film to comic relief at this point with Van Helsing getting his sidekick monk courtesy of the Vatican. He is the equivalent of "Q" in a James Bond movie and it just doesn't fit in.

Off to Transylvania we go where Kate Beckinsale's character and her brother are battling a giant Werewolf in the late afternoon. They are getting tossed around like rag dolls, but remember this is a Stephen Sommers movie and people can get thrown into trees, fall from cliffs, tossed against brick walls and bounce back to complete perfection without even breaking a nail. By the way, later in the movie Werewolves can only change when they are exposed to the light of a full moon, but these inconsistencies don't matter either.

All I can figure is that this Director believes that as long as you have amazing special effects, beautiful people in skin tight leather with flowing hair, and a semi-interesting story than your audience will look past at how far fetched your directing is. It is laughable what they have these people doing in this movie. At one point, Kate Beckinsale has been thrown into a brick wall so hard by a female vampire that it would have put Wonder Woman in a body cast. She quickly gets up, jumps out of a castle window, grabs a cable and launches herself off a cliff to swing 1,500 feet down onto a bridge. As she swings past the monk assistant who is trapped on the bridge, she is thrown a large needle containing werewolf anti-venom that she catches in mid-air as she continues on her way to save the day. If this is not ridiculous enough for you, there is plenty more. About every other scene has this kind of cheesy, super-hero action from ordinary people with unexplained super-human capabilities.

By the end of the movie we were worn out and couldn't take it anymore. It concludes with a really sappy ending at which point I felt like I would have had more fun staying home and watching repeat episodes of Sponge-Bob Square-Pants with our kids. As much as I like action movies and this type of Transylvania style genre, I have to agree with Becky that it was not worth the $7 price of admission. Wait for it to come on the $.99 rental rack at King Soopers.

Becky's Rating: * Don't Bother
John's Rating: ** A Really Cheap Rental

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