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For many women, one of the biggest roadblocks to finding love is feeling too embarrassed to tell anyone they’re looking. Here are the most frequently mentioned reasons for embarrassment about looking for love and new ways to think about them that will help dissipate their discomfort.

There must be something wrong with me because I’m still single
Women’s lib made it possible for women to support themselves, and the social revolution of the 60’s eliminated the stigma of intimacy before marriage. Both factors contributed to women’s independence and at the same time, made it easier for men to avoid marriage. Today, many people put off tying the knot in favor of career. Plus, a divorce rate of nearly 60% has produced an abundance of singles who traditionally, would have stayed married.

The point is, if you’re single, you are far from alone. Nearly half of American adults are single.

It’s not natural to look. Why can’t I bump into him in my daily life?
Of course you might meet someone this way. But how long can you wait for serendipity to occur? When you were 22, almost everyone was available. At that age people are more social and spend a lot of time in group activities or bars, neither holding much appeal today.

As time marches forward, people get more set in their ways, which is precisely why it’s necessary to break routine and do things you wouldn’t normally do! Plus, over 30, there are a lot more people who are married so you are better off meeting qualified prospects– i.e. single men, the very point of attending singles events.

What will people think if they know I’m looking?
There are only three categories of people you might ask for help finding a blind date.
1) A married person who already has a mate, so what negative opinion could be here?
2) A single person who’s in the same boat so what kind of judgment could she have?
3) A divorced person who might make negative comments, but divorce can be painful so take the comments with a grain of salt.
Almost everyone is with a partner or wants to be. Romantic partnership is s a natural human desire and nothing to be ashamed of.

I don’t want to seem desperate
If you were looking for a job, wouldn’t you tell everyone? The best way to find a job these days is through word of mouth. Nothing like a good referral and that is exactly what a blind date is – a referral! You might be surprised how excited people can get about matchmaking. Some even say they get points in heaven! So why not give people a chance to earn a few points?

How you ask influences people more than the idea itself. Word choice and tone of voice are key. Tell people in an upbeat manner that you’d like to meet someone. Try, “Life is good and I’d like to share it with someone.” There is nothing desperate about wanting to share.

As you can see these worries are mostly unfounded and simply not true. Asking people if they know anyone may feel awkward at first, but nothing that a little practice can’t cure.

My Success Story
When I was single, I told everyone I knew and everyone I met, what I was up to. One night I was talking to a woman I’d just met about wanting to meet Mr. Right. Before I could ask, she simply volunteered to help by insisting that I meet her brother. I gave her my number, we met and he’s now my husband! What if I’d been too shy to say anything?

Don’t eliminate one of the most powerful methods to generate love-life prospects. The cost of not asking is very high. For myself, I might still be looking.

Enlist the help of your network of friends, family, and acquaintances. Start slowly with the people who feel the safest. With practice, you’re sure to get braver. The sooner you try it, the sooner you can reap the benefits – finding the love you desire!