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Do you have goals? Is there stuff about yourself you just want to change? I know all my life has been a quest to make myself “perfect”. To be honest, there has been more about myself I’ve wanted to change, than I’ve wanted to keep. You see, I am one of those self-help junkies. I’m always reading some kind of book that is going to be my miracle cure and finally I’m going to be and have all that I want. Does this sound at all familiar to you?

As I write this, I almost see how silly it sounds. I know we all want to be the best we can be. We want to grow. But there is something fundamentally wrong about always wanting to change. It reveals the lack of love I’ve had for myself over the years. What have I thought is missing or broken that needs fixing? In this mentality, I fail to see the splendor of who I am and the perfection of the situation that is already there. What would happen if I were to just let go of wanting to change myself and my life? Just as an experiment. What is the power in letting go?

I know my mind cannot think in negatives. For example, if someone says to me, “don’t think about a purple monkey,” that’s exactly what’s going to pop into my head. You try it. I bet it already happened. So, when I focus on what I want to change, my mind thinks I actually want more of it, because it doesn’t process the negative. It doesn’t understand I don’t want that. It only works in the pictures of what are there. This is why goal-setting gurus always tell you to state your goals in the positive. When we focus on what we want, not on what we don’t want, we have a better chance at creating it.

I also know when I’m attached to wanting something, and I am forcing it to happen, it rarely happens. Why is that? What is it about my energy of wanting so badly that almost assures it won’t happen? Whenever I chase something so hard, I’m actually pushing it away at the same time. I know that’s a common dynamic in relationships. Whenever there is a pursuer, there is the pursued, who’s generally running away. What do we learn from this? It is okay to know what we want, but then we have to let it go. We all have heard the saying that if you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it was always yours; if it doesn’t, it never belonged to you in the first place. The same principle applies here. There is a power in the letting go.

I think we can make positive changes in our lives. I think they will be easier to attain when we learn to let the needing of them go. So the next time you start thinking about what you want to change in your life, try this experiment and see if it works for you. First, see and be grateful for the perfection that is already there. That is always a great place to come from and it just opens you up to possibilities. Next, say what you want in positive terms. Don’t focus on what you don’t want anymore, or you are just going to get more of that. Then, just let it go. Let go of the need to make the change or attain the goal. Let it go and see the power this energy shift has.