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Please let me talk to you one more time. I promise I won't be rude. I only get rude when I am feeling powerless.

The reason I took on the challenge of becoming a marketing affiliate is because I lost my job in October due to a worsening physical disability. I am 59 and I have always worked on my feet. My arthritis is so bad now that I no longer can stand or move without extreme pain and difficulty. I was trying to avoid going on disability. I was trying to be self supporting.

I received 180.00/week on unemployment. In my life I have never made more than 9.00/hour. I was racing against time in order to find something before my unemployment ran out. Everything I tried only ended up causing more debt. I sought advice from my sponsors. Over and over again, they told me that I had to go about promoting my business in an aggressive, committed manner. I had to believe them. I decided to place my ad in every single free advertising outlet I could find. I knew that yours required money, but I had used it briefly last fall for one of my many dismal selling attempts, and I recalled ESPECIALLY that we were only charged when someone actually clicked on our ad. Pay per Click. Doesn't that sound reasonable?

I recalled that I received no clicks for the ad I placed last fall, so I was charged no money. That seemed pretty safe to me, since I have been told that the higher you bid, the better chance your ad will be placed in a spot to be seen. I did not recall that the credit card which Adwords was hooked up to is the same one that I have been desperately trying to bring down to a zero balance so that I could close. The reason I needed to close it is because Blastengine kept sucking money out of it as I was offered no way to cancel, despite my countless unanswered phone messages, my countless unanswered e-mails and my obnoxious projects of sending out 20 snail mailings to them in one day.

As of April, that account was down to zero. Almost. Blastengine had still charged me 9.95 for another month. That 9.95 was the ONLY thing that prevented me from closing it once and for all, so that Blastengine could never steal from me again.

I am not a very "marketing savvey" person. Any ragged efforts I have embarked upon have only brought me failure, even though I rack my brain trying to figure out how they work. I thought I had sufficient understanding of how your program works to stick my neck out and AT LEAST TAKE A CHANCE, with borrowed money, on perhaps the possibility that SOMEONE might click on my ad. Pay per Click. Right? Despite my continual losses in this heartbreaking game, I was desperate to make one last effort before I succumbed to disability (550.00/mo at most, for the rest of my life.)

Please, I have no way to pay as much as you are charging me, for something that I didn't even want,(pay per VIEW??) because I knew I could not afford it. I am still awaiting my disability which could take at least six months. I am living on borrowed money. All of my resources, (what few I have) are slipping out from under me, with no way to ever be able to generate enough money to recover them. I have always taken minimum wage jobs. That says something for my "sophistication" in your slick internet business management arena. I was trying as hard as I could to follow the advice of my sponsors, who convinced me I was a "self-programed failure" for not having more "faith" and taking a more "affirmative leap."

Well do you know what? I AM a failure. Not only am I a failure, but I am still losing money that I don't even have, further PROVING that I am a failure. In one simple confused "toe-testing" gesture, I managed to make an almost zero balance on a credit card escalate to nearly 200.00 in one month. (It will easily be that by the time you are finished with me.) Do you realize, that amount represents over 1/3 of my monthly income for the rest of my life????

Your successful corporations have an entirely different concept of money than a person like myself. The money you are taking from me is my survival, whereas for you it is pocket change.

I always assumed that companies cared about the satisfaction of their customers. You say that I had access to the details of how much money was being vacuumed out of my meager resources, and that I could have cancelled at any time. Don't you see? I didn't KNOW that I was being drained. I don't even now understand your EXPLANATION of why I was drained.

Also, since I was failing to contact Blastengine month after month I gave up trying to communicate with ANY of you customer service people because I assumed from the start that you just didn't hear and didn't care. I had given up. I thought that if anything went wrong, in the end, I could always appeal to my credit card company and THEY could dispute the charges because THEY are taken more seriously than an incompetent,crippled, unemployed minimum wage earner. I still am going to try to go that route if you will not take me seriously and listen to me.

Please do not just wave me off. Your company is big. It is the most successful one on the internet. You are dealing with a person who is teetering on the brink of homelesness, especially with disability taking so long to materialize. Are you really so ruthless that you could extract the life blood out of someone who was way, way over her head in her desperate attempts to be included in your world, the world which you comfortably take for granted? I made a mistake. I cannot do what smart, successful internet marketers do,even when I PRETEND that I can do it. I lose, no matter how hard I try, or how much money I lay on the table. I see that now. Please don't make me have to keep paying for that mistake, because I feel I have already been beat down enough.

Olga Moe