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Ten Commandments for Spousal Equivalents  When two people of either the opposite sex or the same sex live together and have a romantic relationship, but don't have a marriage license, they are spousal equivalents. The ten commandments that follow can help you protect your relationship:

 You and your partner have no legal relationship-this is the good news and the bad news. You have the flexibility to define your own rights and obligations, but if they are not in writing the rest of the world won't know what they are.  Find out about the laws in your state that affect unmarried couples. For example, it is against the law in several states for an unmarried man and woman to live together.  Determine whether or not your state still recognizes common-law marriage, and if your relationship has created one of these ''informal'' marriages.  Find out your state's view on ''palimony'' and whether or not the courts will honor contracts between spousal equivalents.  Verbalize your agreement on sharing expenses and acquiring property with your partner. Discover areas where you agree and areas that require compromise.  Consider drawing up a cohabitation agreement. It serves a three-prong purpose because it covers yesterday, today and tomorrow's property and money issues, and has the same effect as a pre-marital agreement if a couple marries.  Maintain separate finances, including bank accounts, savings and investments, to simplify record-keeping and tax filing.  Have a valid will prepared. Estate planning and financial planning are particularly important for spousal equivalents because they have no inheritance rights, nor do they share in each other's pension plans.  Discuss preparing a medical power of attorney to allow your partner hospital visitation and the right to make medical decisions in the event of an emergency.  Find out if your company, or any organization to which you belong, makes special arrangements for spousal equivalents. If not, question the policy.
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At one time in our history, living together without benefit of clergy was considered ''deviant.'' As the perceived necessity for common-law marriage decreased, the laws changed to actively discourage such unions. Criminal laws were passed to discourage couples from such behavior. At one time, it was a crime to live together in virtually every state.

Even though only ''open and notorious sexual conduct'' outside of marriage was actionable at common law, the statutes enacted all those years ago still remain on the books in some states. Laws against nonmarital cohabitation still existed as late as the 1990s in the following states:

 Arizona  Florida  Idaho  Illinois  Michigan  Mississippi  New Mexico  North Carolina  North Dakota  Virginia  West Virginia

As a practical matter, the constitutionality of such statutes continues to be questioned and the laws are rarely enforced, but check their status anyway! Loveandthelaw.com is chocked full of even more useful information...it's an easy and inexpensive way to protect your relationship and your assets.

The love and the law newsletter is written by Johnette Duff, Attorney at Law* Copyright 2004 by Johnette Duff Ms. Duff is licensed in the State of Texas www.loveandthelaw.com

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__________________________________________________________ Article title: Ten Commandments for Spousal Equivalents Author: Johnette Duff, Attorney at Law* Word count 503 Wrap: 60 - 65 Copyright date: May, 2004 URL: http://www.loveandthelaw.com/newsletter.html Mailto: info@loveandthelaw.com

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